This is in honor of a friend who is near due.
I know this is mostly a girl thing, but just in case you thought I might be going to any shower you are going to, I won't be and it's because...
-I'd either make way to many jokes about 1. showering with babies or 2. golden showers.
-I can tolerate about 1 "cute outfit" after that it just gets repetitive and I spaz out and say: 'Oh look another fucking jumpsuit.' - Does anyone ever question why baby fashion is reminiscent of some of the worst fashion choices in the history of man.
-Baby showers usually mean no one will get shitty. What kind of party is that?!
-I just found out what type of 'booties' you meant, and they're not the kind I like.
-I can't tell the difference between bacherlorette parties, baby showers, and bridal showers, so I'm worried some oily greased up naked cop will knock on the door at any given moment.
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