Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Why I Won't Get Invited Or Go To Your Baby Shower


This is in honor of a friend who is near due.

I know this is mostly a girl thing, but just in case you thought I might be going to any shower you are going to, I won't be and it's because...

-I'd either make way to many jokes about 1. showering with babies or 2. golden showers.

-I can tolerate about 1 "cute outfit" after that it just gets repetitive and I spaz out and say: 'Oh look another fucking jumpsuit.' - Does anyone ever question why baby fashion is reminiscent of some of the worst fashion choices in the history of man.

-Baby showers usually mean no one will get shitty. What kind of party is that?!

-I just found out what type of 'booties' you meant, and they're not the kind I like.

-I can't tell the difference between bacherlorette parties, baby showers, and bridal showers, so I'm worried some oily greased up naked cop will knock on the door at any given moment.

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